Gloria's Notebook: Entry 4

The whore is pregnant. The WHORE is pregnant. Damn you, Charles. How could you do this to me? How could you be so careless? She trapped you, didn’t she? The whore trapped you because you were losing interest. How could you have not seen? Women are calculating and cunning. They say one thing, yet mean another, but the truth is always in the spaces between the words, the pauses, the sighs, the silence. And then there are the other signals; a touch that lingers too long, a smile that hovers like a butterfly, a glance that hints at all manner of promise.

This woman has used all of these on you. I’m certain of it, and she’s caught you in a trap, and for what? A few moments of sexual pleasure? Was it worth it, Charles? Was the sex with your whore worth the reminder you will bring into this world? A bastard? Will your whore require large sums of “hush” money so she does not expose your dirty secret? Or will she want more? Will she want you? Actually expect you to be a father to this child? What does she want? Does she think you will divorce me and marry her? Hah! She doesn’t know about people like us, does she Charles?

 We do what is expected, honor the family name and to hell with what we’d like to do. That’s never part of the equation, is it? People like your whore think we’ll act based on emotions, desires, wants. They do not know our kind, bred for duty, bred to carry on the name.

And the whore’s son, what will he say? For that matter, what would your daughter say if she knew you were going to be a father? Oh, I doubt she’d like that. Only children don’t like to share, and Christine has been your star far too many years to share that glory. Worse, what would she think of the man she believed to be her hero?

I wish I’d never asked Lester Conroy to provide one final report before closing the file on you, but now that I know, I must learn more. I must learn all about you and your whore if only from Lester Conroy’s monthly reports. I will watch and wait and permit you the damnable 4 days a month to pretend whatever it is you need to pretend. But do not even try to extend the days or move out of those parameters or you will live to regret it. Of that you and your damnable whore may be certain.

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