I'm a Packrat
I’m a packrat, no question on that one. Old notebooks, birthday cards, letters, all contain a past that stirs my brain to remember. This past January, the day after I released my latest book, I began cleaning out my office. Imagine stacks of notebooks, letters, cards, and photos scattered about. Some may call it a mess, but I call it my “safe haven”. There are also row after row of books lining shelves—I’m a writer, and of course, a reader.
As I worked my way through the first bookshelf, I came across a beautiful gold floral journal my middle daughter bought me for Christmas one year. I remember requesting such a journal because I wanted to write my thoughts, goals, and dreams in it. I opened the book and fell back to my life in 2009 when I was struggling to find my readers and hadn’t yet learned to trust my gut when writing. It was a difficult and painful time; one I don’t ever want to repeat!
Yesterday’s heartbreaking rejection made me realize it’s time to get this out—put the negative thoughts and the bad karma on paper so my mind is clear and maybe, just maybe I’ll push past this slump and find the joy of writing again. If I couldn’t write, didn’t care about writing, didn’t need to write, it would be so much simpler. And that’s the problem. Would I feel this emergency if I were 25? 35? There was a time when I wrote for the love of the story, but the pain of rejection has smothered me. The “noise” of distractions makes me second guess myself and I am miserable.
Today, I will push on and finish my synopsis—then I will work on a new story—then a game plan. There is no won’t or can’t—only I will. I will publish—I will write my best book ever. I will do this!
That was seven years ago. I never gave up or stopped believing I would find people who wanted to read my books. It would take a few more years and tens of thousands of words, but I found them! A Family Affair has had millions of downloads. Thank you, to all of my readers for choosing to spend time with my work. I am forever grateful. And note, sometimes being a packrat is a good thing!